"I will lead a life of integrity in my own home.
I will refuse to look at anything vile and vulgar."
Psalm 101:2-3
It seems strange that thousands of years ago there was a need to write about looking at things that were vile and vulgar in your own home, but there it is...
...in writing. How many millions of times easier is it for anything vile and vulgar to get into our homes these days than it was back when King David wrote these words?
Let's take the internet, for example.
Last year, I looked up all the kids in our church (the ones I know) in the social network called Nexopia. I found many of them on that site and was terrified to find out what they were writing about themselves and others in a way that was anonymous from us adults.
I was quite pleased that all of the kids web spaces were "clean" and many of the kids from our church put on their web space that they were followers of Christ. I told one of the moms in the church how her son's Nexopia web space was something that was a beacon of light in the middle of a lot of darkness. Her face fell and a look of anguish took over her expression. I was trying to figure out why when she said, "he told me that he didn't have a web space on nexopia".
So, we're trying to keep our kids on the straight and narrow with the web, but the pressure for them at school is a whole different ballgame than we have ever known in our lives. Nexopia can be both vile and vulgar - just the nicknames of kids on that site can be more vulgar than anything you heard, saw or read in highschool.
Have you heard of Nexopia, Facebook, myspace or other social networking sites?
The question is, though, how can we manage social networking sites without allowing anything vile and vulgar into our homes?
Instant Messaging
That takes me to MSN and other instant-messaging (IM) chats. Girls in particular can spend hours upon hours upon hours on MSN. I use Skype (another IM) because it is totally free of ads, strangers don't inundate me with requests to chat and I can get a lot of my work done during the day with it.
So, if your child (or you) like to chat with a few friends / relatives, Skype is a very good option instead of MSN. You don't have to have a hotmail email address and you can chat in an advertising-free environment (you don't have to look at all the soft-porn banner ads).
What can you do about MSN and other IM chats? What are you doing in your home?
Protecting your Internet
I recently installed a piece of software, NetNanny. I set it up on our family computer. It was a bit challenging to set up, but I'm so glad that it is up and running now. It blocks sites that are about:
- porn
- gambling
- intimate apparel
- drugs
- illegal activities
- violence
- hatred
If you are wondering what people have been looking at on your internet, check your browser history. A web browser is the software that you use to look at the internet - there are several popular ones: internet explorer, firefox, mozilla, opera, safari (mac only). You should open all of them and check the history. If you don't know how, open the Help files and type in "history".
What about computers in private bedrooms? Lots of kids these days are given access to the internet in the privacy of their own bedroom. Be cautious. In fact, if your child has access to the internet in the privacy of their bedroom, it is extremely likely that they are involved in something that is "vile and vulgar".
It is our job as parents to protect the minds of our kids and to give them the safety in their own home to not view anything that is vile and vulgar. If your child (or spouse) has private access to the internet, it's time to talk with them. It's time to get rid of or monitor that private access.
NetNanny has a feature that allows you to remotely monitor another computer. That means, that from your computer, you can monitor website access, keystrokes, IM chats and everything else that someone is doing on another computer. This might be the answer for you if your child has a computer in their room.
You can actually read everything they are writing in IM messages, everything they type into a chat room and every website that they view through this remote monitoring. You can also lock a child out of specific websites and specific functions (such as IM).
The internet is full of tricks and traps and schemes of the evil one. He is going around like a lion seeking to devour followers of Christ. We are learning this in Sunday School and through the sermons. Is it possible that he is using the internet to devour someone in your home?
TV
Gary and I didn't used to have cable. For years in Calgary we would sit in our below-ground family room watching CBC with rabbit ears (practically freezing in the room). And then, it slowly crept up on us. We moved to Promontory and the rabbit ears didn't get any channels at all, so we got basic cable. We only recently got full cable. To be honest, I like full cable better. Instead of feeling like I haven't got options, I can now watch Discovery channel or HGTV. We bought a new TV and it can be set to block shows that are rated above 14A. So we did that. It's good for the kids. It's good for us.
TV is a direct line from someone else's mind into our homes and it is full of options that are addicting, vile and vulgar.
I was listening to a group of christian teens discussing the latest show in the OC series. They were describing all the characters and talking about who's sleeping with who. I realized that they are judged by their peers about what they know of this show - if they don't know anything, they lose face. On top of that, it is an addicting nighttime soap opera. I was addicted to Melrose Place (a similar smut-filled soap opera) and it took a close friend phoning me every Monday evening to break the addiction.
What is being watched in your home? How can you break the addictions?
Gaming
Here's a tough one. It's tough because xbox, ps2, game cube, wii can all be so incredibly fun - and there aren't many really wholesome games for teens/young adults. Along with fun comes the temptation to play games that have direct or indirect vile and vulgar messages in them. Today, I asked one of my boys to turn off the music on his motorcross racing game (some type of rap) and he said, "but's that the only reason I'm playing this". I had no idea. I thought he was playing because it was fun.
We moved our PS2 into our family room (from the basement). The noise nearly drives me to the edge of sanity, but this way I can watch what the games are about (when I'm in the kitchen). We work hard to monitor the games our kids play, but didn't even think about the possibility that they could borrow games from other boys at school - or play games at someone else's house.
I don't know much about the kinds of games that are out there for teens, but lots of you are facing this - particularly with your boys - on a daily basis. We need to help each other - what games are better than others?
The end... well, almost
What comes to your mind when you read about not looking at anything vile or vulgar in your own home?
Let the Holy Spirit speak to you about what you might be looking at in your home that is vile and vulgar. Ask Him to show you how to refuse to look. Tell a friend about what you are facing. Ask God to make your home a place where vile and vulgar things are not viewed.
Let's help each other. If you are addicted to the internet, chat rooms, soap operas - tell someone. Find someone you can trust (there are so many women like this at Broadway). Join a Care Group at church (phone pastor Wilf). Also, if you need help installing software, there are people in our church who will help you - as a ministry (me included).
Let's be on guard for our kids. It's our job to protect them. They might be mad at you for cutting their internet or cable connection. I did this for 2 weeks just recently because the computer was taking over our lives. Most of the arguing and frustration between our boys is due to something electronic - it either isn't working or it's too slow or they can't beat the level or someone stole the remote....
Are you committed, like David, to leading a life of integrity in your own home? Refusing to look at anything vile and vulgar?
Post some thoughts to help each other discuss what is going on in our homes - and what we want to stop.
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